Don't let it get to you

I'm exhausted

Everything is all I can think about,

I can't stop now, I've gone too far.

As the days pass we get closer

walking

standing

leaning

gazing

laughing

loving

it's torture

I'm exhausted

"click"

but I love games ...

This is you

Daggers

Sharp

beautiful

delicate

feminine

entrancing

hour to hour we get closer as my mind weakens once more.

I forget who I'm not, and spiral into you, into us ...

It hurts, like too sweet candy I can't stop eating

I'm starving

you're my favorite delicacy

I want ... to savor you

I ... want ... to devour you

my body reminds me of the way you taste

nourish me of your own will

and we will grow together

if I have any willpower left at all

it's my work worn dirty hands,

but they barely keep me tame

I am not immune to you

You're vibrant as your fingers run through your hair along the back of your neck

sliding them downward around the front of your collar

Then slightly to your chest a bit before collapsing at your side with a clap against your leg

you smile and speak excitedly about the future you want to come

Your youth is shining again

we can keep each other young

you're beautiful

but i'm out of sync

and I dare not pull away

Your hand grazes across my arm as our shoulders dare one another to kiss while we stand together

smiling

reliving the miracles of life

static

I swallow hard, with a slightly audible gulp

I feel every hand as I lust for it to scratch across the small of my back, my shoulders, my frozen body shivers with electricity

"click"

"you're radiant" I smile as I stare at the sun you've become

casting a loving warmth upon your domain

It's so bright here

"You've done a good job, you should be proud"

a slight change in tone

luminous ...

my hand reaches to your side

I can feel your core, your center, even before I touch you

"Stop,

avert yourself from the pain

from the shame,

you're fractured."

My hand retracts ...

painfully empty

I turn away

yearning for embrace

Minute by minute we stand closer

our eyes wander

we gaze longer ...

we know it's dangerous here

both of us need to be held with delicate hands

we are double edged

my skin chills at your nails and warms as my body remembers your fingers drag across me, as you walk by, without a touch

I'm dancing with a ghost of you

everyday I see you

everywhere I see you

every time I feel with you

I'm dancing with the ghost of us

every outstretched hand

always empty

as if I am the only one that hears the music

I'm paralyzed

You're not just attractive in your everyday life, you're seductive

I see you

The worst moments in life are the best things taken away

This, is what haunted is like

I've missed you so much

you're you again

my best friend, the woman I fell in love with

don't hide us, don't run,

I'm not chasing you

I'm in agony

I see us everywhere

in ...

everything....

it's dangerous but we will protect each other

we can protect what we care about

we can't do everything

but together, we can do anything

you're bending me,

you're breaking me,

it hurts to be so close and not hold you again

I'm going to fall apart without help

I'm going to fall apart with help

I want to fall apart with you

so we can be put back

together

as us

all ...

of us

I'm all in ...

The distance between us can no longer detain me

inevitably

we collide

boldly

not carefully

for anyone to see

as if hiding nothing

because there is nowhere to hide

we always find each other.

My body melds into her as I beg her not to die for me, but to live, for us.

I trust you.

We're both exhausted

"This place, it kills people.

It takes advantage of their situations and traps them here until they die.

Don't let it get to you.

Don't kill yourself for me.

I'll be okay.

You're important to me."

My arms envelop her, gentle, deliberate—holding her in a way that says what I won't.

"I'm all in..." she gasped so quietly I almost couldn't hear. I was focused on my tone, and her body. I felt a heartbeat as I held her firmly, painfully to me. Like daggers driving straight to my heart. Sharp, delicate, ornate and beautiful ... poison. I would die from this blade if it were removed. "Do not pull away, don't pull away ... don't ... pull away ... please ... pull ... away ..." I begged myself, as my grip loosened. I turned and walked back the direction I had so fervently, perhaps foolishly chased her from.

I did this to myself.

I walk slowly through the back corridor then stop. Left hand on the back of my now tense and aching neck, right hand on cold steel-pain, sweet pain, like bad candy in my mouth. Slight trembles as my body aches and betrays me, fighting to writhe and contort in suppression. Adrenaline washes through me, my breathing is heavy. I lift my head and tik, an audible "click" from the left side of my mouth as I jerk my head and it tilts with a smirk. I walk forward, starving, hungry, and ready to devour her if given a taste ...

I didn't know then that this was the moment I would start to live. It would cost me everything. What a tragedy.