Don't let it get to you ...
INTRODUCTION
Everyone needs someone, for something, sometimes, but it doesn't have to be a specific someone all the time.
The thing I believe in most? Love.
We all have different needs. We are different people with different skills—and different weaknesses. I believe most of us are simply good or bad at certain things. There’s some gray, but not much. The more honest I am to myself about that especially, taking credit for the things I'm good at. I'm often so negative about my own strengths, it really just feels like a weakness to me.
This will actually be a bit of a project for my own mental health. I miss writing. I want something to love again.
A maybe a small docuseries of events that eventually leads up to a full story. Since everything felt like a movie, I figured why not write a book ? They're always better. I have never felt so persecuted for loving someone, and so self destructive that I am today, every day before, and will surely be now, and everyday after.
PROLOGUE
"I'm all in..." she gasped so quietly I almost couldn't hear. I was focused on my tone, and her body. I felt a heartbeat as I held her firmly, painfully to me. Like daggers driving straight to my heart. Sharp, delicate, ornate and beautiful ... poison. I would die from this blade if it were removed. "Do not pull away, don't pull away ... don't ... pull away ... please ... pull ... away ..." I begged myself, as my grip loosened. I turned and walked back the direction I had so fervently, perhaps foolishly chased her from.
I did this to myself.
I walk slowly through the back corridor then stop. Left hand on the back of my now tense and aching neck, right hand on cold steel-pain, sweet pain, like bad candy in my mouth. Slight trembles as my body aches and betrays me, fighting to writhe and contort in suppression. Adrenaline washes through me, my breathing is heavy. I lift my head and tik, an audible "click" from the left side of my mouth as I jerk my head and it tilts with a smirk. I walk forward, starving, hungry, and ready to devour her if given a taste ...
I didn't know then that this was the moment I would start to live. It would cost me everything. What a tragedy.
